According to a leaked memo, director Michael Bay is pissed off at Paramount Pictures for not putting enough hype behind his new sequel, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Having seen it, we can’t help but wonder if Paramount is keeping quiet because his flick about warring alien robots transforms into a vehicle for racism.
As if black people didn’t catch a bad enough one from the Jar Jar Binks character in Star Wars Episodes I-III, Bay’s Autobot twins, the “black”-voiced Skids and Mudflap, are the 2009 version of the Amos n’ Andy minstrel show. It’s hard to believe a big-money director would show his ass like this in what projects to be a much-watched blockbuster, but maybe he’s gotten too comfortable hanging out with his boy Black-Ty. Whatever the rationale, it’s clear that Bay is violating. How can we be so certain? Check out 7 reasons why Transformers 2 might be racist…
#1: “Skids” and “Mudflap” sound suspiciously like “skid-marks” and “mud people.” Tell us how you really feel, cracker!
#2: Skids not only has old-school Raekwon bucked teeth, one of them is actually gold! We’re assuming the rope chains and 40s for the action figures are sold separately.
#3: The twins constantly fight and snap on each other in inappropriate situations, like in the sacred tomb of the Primes. Sigh. Black robots just don’t know how to behave in public, do they?
#4: Skids and Mudflap refer to Leo, the Latino college student played by Ramon Rodriguez, as a “shrimp taco.” All black robots gotta be ign’ant though, right? That’s just like the white devil to put his secret racist thoughts into the mouths of black robots.
#5: In the twins’ vehicular incarnation, they’re flashy compact racing cars. Black robots aren’t concerned about the safety and security of their loved ones? Family sedans aren’t “urban” enough for you?
#6: The hip-hop jive that Skids and Mudflap spew comes from the mouth of WHITE voiceover comedian Tom Kenny, a.k.a. the voice of SpongeBob SquarePants. At least if Mike Epps was the one bamboozling, talking about “bustin’ caps,” we could take solace in a black actor getting work.
#7: The twins make R. Kelly look like an advocate for literacy. When Shia LaBoeuf asks if the twins can read ancient glyphs, they nervously respond, “Read?! Nuh-uh…” “No, we don’t really do much readin’!” (watch the exchange below) Well, not only can we read, we can also read between the lines: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen isn’t a blockbuster, it’s a black-buster!